his 18 birthday :)

today is his birthday. he just turned 18 :)

i dunno why i feel so happy!! >< if i were in Aus, probably i'll give him a present, even its not special and expensive, may be teddy bear? haha~ so he can hug it every time he wants =,= (whatta bad idea! may be he would throw it away)

whattt did i just say? did I say i feel soo happy? nahh >< thatss not true! thats not exactly what i feel!!

I feel so disappointed right now, huhuhu... i dunno y? If i know i wont tell u either.

I tried so hard to forget him. and when i totally forgot, he came back again in my life,, he talked to me nicely so the feeling to him was growing again. and suddenly there was a miss understanding between us, so that he went far away from me. and not long after that I already forgot him (again). and about 3 months later, AGAIN! he came to me! he told me  that he like me, love me (iewww),  want me to cum back there, bla bla bla

hmmm,, but when I was crying, the first name i said was always his name! until now! and when i feel weak, in my mind was always him. it seems like i life in this world is for him isn't it??

im gonna take AFS student exchange to japan, and its JUST FOR HIM! so we can meet each other in japan and have fun there. do u think i love him too much?

has he ever thought about me like the way i think about him? I DONT THINK SO 


i wished i can talk with him on his birthday, but unfortunately i couldnt. i feel so weird, its like im the stupidest girl in the whole world

again, -shuhei-

Me

shuheii :)

7:49pm shuhei

hii

7:50pm Me

2 more days

7:50pm shuhei

yup

7:50pm Me

haha

u r old

7:50pm shuhei

true..

7:51pm Me

r u still in aussie?

or japan?

7:51pm shuhei

in aus

8:57pmshuhei is offline.

9:18pmshuhei is online.

9:19pm shuhei

u coming to aus?

9:19pm Me

nopee :(

unlucky mee

y?

9:20pm shuhei

hmm

coz i miss you

9:20pm Me

really?

i miss u too :(

9:20pm shuhei

i do really. a lot.

9:22pm shuhei

aww

9:23pmMe

hmmm -.-

i dunno what to say

my english is getting worse

9:24pm shuhei

haha.

no worries, its still fine

9:24pm Me

ZzZzZ =.=

9:24pm shuhei

do u still.....

like me?? or not anymore lol

9:25pm Me

whyy??

lol

9:25pm shuhei

i just wanna konw,,,

9:25pm Me

idk

may be yes?

9:25pm shuhei

what do u mean maybe///

9:25pmMe

but not as much as before

9:26pm shuhei

ok....

9:26pm Me

o.O?

9:27pm shuhei

dont worry...

9:27pm Me

do u like sum1 in there?

9:27pm shuhei

no.

9:27pm Me

y not?

9:27pm shuhei

coz i like you lol

9:27pm Me

im sure there r many pretty girls like u

haha

really?

9:28pm shuhei

well, there are some, i guess,

but u know,

when u were here, i didnt realize it, but ur gone now and i feel, yeah,,,

but u dont anymore,,, so.

9:29pm Me

aww,,

really...

9:29pm shuhei

dont worry lol

9:30pm Me

what about a japanese girl tht u told me before?

who's tht?

the one who is an actress?

9:31pm shuhei

no way,

9:31pm Me

y not?? she's soo prettyy

9:32pm shuhei

its alright, i ll find some otherone.

9:32pm Me

huuuu

9:32pm shuhei

dontworry...

9:32pm Me

:)

u will

haha

9:32pm shuhei

...

alright

bye..

9:33pm Me

bye..

happy birthday shuhei :D

i wanna be #1

9:37pm Me

u r not angry right?

:(

9:47pm Me

=.=?

shuhei

no

i was talking to friend

sorry,

i better go to bed now,,

9:58pmMe

okaa =)

that FEELING is still in my heart

I'd better if I write in English.. so anyone not easy to understand it cause of my messy English...
first, I dont wanna continue with my recent posting that I wrote when I was bit confused ..
this posting is different from before..

does anyone still remember a Japanese boy that I really lovee last year?


yes! SHUHEI!!

I was chatting with him last night... first, I juz sed 'hiii' then he replied! I tought hw wont do that...
As usual , I asked about school, and life.. but he answered 'my life is good... but there's something lost from me..' and I asked, 'so whats that?'

shuhei : 'u werent here... :( I miss u...'
mee : awww.... dun be sad...
shuhei : Im sorry that i made u sad everyday...
mee : dun think abwt it.. I forgiv u
shuhei : thanks.. will u come back here?
mee : i dunno.. y?
shuhei : nope
mee : shuhei.. but u hate me before ryte?
shuhei : nooooo!!! i didnt hate u..
mee : but u told me if i was really annoying to u..
shuhei : but i didnt to say that.. sorry
mee : dun lying.. i still save all ur e-mails..
shuhei : yeaa.. but i really dont mean that
mee: but why u sed that to me?
shuhei : coz i love u
mee : no no no... u r joking ryte?
shuhei : im not! im serious..
mee : but u too late.. and y didnt u tell me before?
shuhei : actually... I really want make a relationship wif u.. but....
mee : but what?
shuhei : i was shy!!! and if we hav a relationship.. we wouldnt be happy either ryte? it juz make us more hurt.. coz u were leaving Australia..
mee : well... yea... u ryte...
shuhei : i miss u!!! i wanna see u!! I wanna go home together with u, walking or by bicycle of mine, and sometimes walk to the station with u...
mee : shuhei... i miss u too.. dont make me sad, :(
shuhei : i love u..!!! is that enough to make u happy?
mee :   well.. not really...
shuhei : btw... u already hav a *bf??            (*bf = boy friend, not blue film!)
mee : nope.. y?? wbu? u hav one?
shuhei : nope... i hav no chance..
mee : y not? u do hav it.. im sure many girls like u as i did last year..
shuhei : no... u dont understand..
mee : ahhh ok...
shuhei : u still remember ryte? we promised if we meet again u'd be my gf..?
mee : ahh yea... but i thought u were joking?
shuhei : no... im serious!!!
mee : so?
shuhei : be mine when we meet again ok??
mee : okaa....
shuhei : lol
mee : shuhei.. i wanna go to the past... i still wanna follow u when u r going home.. then look at ur face..then...
shuhei : but i wana go to the future! wanna **** uuu!!
mee : ahhh...... juz hope that we'll meet again..
shuhei : ok.. heyy! im looking at ur pictures! u r cutter.! juz same when u were in australia
mee : thanks.. gimme urs! wanna see urs!
shuhei : juz go on my facebook..
mee : woww....... cool..
shuhei : which one?
mee : japan one..
shuhei : thanks..
mee: u look younger..
shuhei : ................................................ ( cant remember)
mee :.....................................................................................
shuhei :......................................................................................
.................................................................................................
mee : oopss... sorrrryyyy shuhei!!!
shuhei : what?
mee : i g2g.. i'll talk to u later
shuhei : oka..
mee : byee... see ya
shuhei : see ya... love u
mee : :)
shuhei :XOXOs
mee : x
shuhei: i loveeeeee u sooooooo muchhhhhhhhhhhhhh
mee : ok ok
shuhei : wanna see you. wanna walk along the beach with u. wanna go to school with u. wanna .......
..........................................................................................................................................................

then i went off....
about xoxo : its usual. even with friends. so dun think about negative things..


after that, i went to the bed. still thought that shuhei was juz lying. cant believe if he said like that again.

so sorry.. may be I cant meet u anymore... but if we meet.. maybe we'll be just a really good friend...

CANT FORGET U!

JUST WAIT AND SEE WHAT NEXT